Media Executives Gifts

"Today on Sunday Hot Takes: who will be this week's big sexual harasser?"

Trial by Media

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

My brilliant career

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'