Advertising Executives Gifts

'On a positive note, the massive recalls do increase brand identification.'

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

"Product placement in a cartoon? You're crazy! Crazy delicious, like a smooth, refreshing Pepsi-Cola."

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"I'm not sure using a funny cartoon in our ad campaign is the right thing for us to do! We are bankers, we have no humor."

'We can't make our phones any smaller. Maybe we can get advertising to get bigger models to hold them.'

Man hiding behind chair from aggressive tourism advertising

"Not only our fishcakes. Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a granny."

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"No, I hate golfing with those ad agency guys... Every time I yell 'fore' they chant in with 'he's a jolly good fellow'!"

Dalek Marketing

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'