Advertising Executives Pillows

'On a positive note, the massive recalls do increase brand identification.'

'Felder, I'd like a woman's opinion. Why isn't this selling?'

With education costs on the rise, many schools are looking for alternative ways to raise funds.

"Product placement in a cartoon? You're crazy! Crazy delicious, like a smooth, refreshing Pepsi-Cola."

News for Sale

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"I'm not sure using a funny cartoon in our ad campaign is the right thing for us to do! We are bankers, we have no humor."

'We can't make our phones any smaller. Maybe we can get advertising to get bigger models to hold them.'

Man hiding behind chair from aggressive tourism advertising

"Not only our fishcakes. Granny Cora herself was recalled. She's not really a granny."

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"No, I hate golfing with those ad agency guys... Every time I yell 'fore' they chant in with 'he's a jolly good fellow'!"

Dalek Marketing

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'