Marketing Executives Pillows

"We've all done our part, but now our fate rests in the hands of a higher power: Marketing."

Where Are They Now?

Ad companies ignoring minorities even though they hold the buying power

'Our product development department thinks this will help the board better identify with our product users.'

'Ted was an inveterate ad man.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Welcome to the future"

Occu-Pie Mars

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.