Marketing Exec Pillows

"I think marketing's come up with a real winner this time."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

This Message Has No Content

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Cut Price

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Create some buzz!