Marketing Exec Prints

"I think marketing's come up with a real winner this time."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Cut Price

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'