Advertising Director Pillows

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Bright idea

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Creative department

Crap from the future.