Commercials Director Pillows

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Welcome to the future"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

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Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Bright idea

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Creative department

Crap from the future.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'