Advertising Strategists Pillows

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Crap from the future.

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'