Advertising Expert Pillows

The grand opening of an unconvincing shop.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Crap from the future.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'