Publicity Strategists Pillows

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

If nobody had invented graphics

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Important Food Groups

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

'We've re-branded.'

Direct Marketing...

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"