Advertising Director Gifts

'Lucy just flew in from Adland.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

If nobody had invented graphics

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

Bright idea

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

Creative department

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.