Advertising Manager Gifts

"Until we get reaction to the campaign, I want you to pretend it's your idea."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Ere Bert - there's a lady on the line, saw our name in the Yellow Pages - wants to hire some geraniums to enter in a Flower Show!'

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Boss, remember when you said you'd consider giving me a raise if I were to show initiative? No. I used the café's line of credit to buy ads on a national broadcast. You did what? If the ad increases business, do I get a raise? Maybe. What channel's it on? Fox? NBC? Today's "Ask Sadie Radio Show" is brought to you by the worst excuse for a cafe in America.

"Armstrong, I have an idea. We should advertise the cafe on hippo-owners.com."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'Chief, I swear, they are all over the city. Flashing electrical signs! Code red...repeat...Code red!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"I recommend we stop trying to engage our customers' discerning intelligence and return to our old strategy of making them feel really stupid if they don't buy our products!"

"I was hoping for something a little more 'cutting edge'."

"Tom here is the public face of the company."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"