Advertising Manager Gifts

"Until we get reaction to the campaign, I want you to pretend it's your idea."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Armstrong, I have an idea. We should advertise the cafe on hippo-owners.com."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

'Chief, I swear, they are all over the city. Flashing electrical signs! Code red...repeat...Code red!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"I recommend we stop trying to engage our customers' discerning intelligence and return to our old strategy of making them feel really stupid if they don't buy our products!"

"I was hoping for something a little more 'cutting edge'."

"Tom here is the public face of the company."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Welcome to the future"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Crap from the future.