Advertising Strategist Gifts

Creating a powerful personal brand for social networking success.

Graphic Design School: No logo - Please help.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to jump. I'm just screwing with the media.'

"'Love makes a Subaru a Subaru' my eye!"

Another Beautiful Ditch dug by Bill Fowler

"And I'm sure everyone here remembers the day last month when that big wind shift turned our scorched-earth marketing strategy against us."

'...But when the branding consultant told him that we 'had to get down an play dirty with da Boyz in da Hood' his heart just gave out!'

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'

'What we need is uplift and some window dressing.'

'He died happy. Internet advertisers successfully microtargeted his every desire.'

"We'll play on their anxieties and timidities. If that doesn't work, we'll play on their fears and insecurities."

"Find out what the worst TV program is and we'll sponsor it. We have to reach viewers who are in pain."

Eat at Home Sign

"All this mold is a good sign that our marketing content is getting a little stale."

Nothing Beats Good Marketing!

Stuff. You don't have enough of it.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!