Advertising Analyst Gifts

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

'It's not a sale. It's a threat.'

The Sponsored Skier

The Bargain Brand

'Want what you don't have. . . Yesterday's lesson was 'want what you don't need'.'

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"It doesn't work. I still don't find vacuuming exciting."

'A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Fortech inc.'

"...Are you really against sexist advertising or are you just against self-confident women who work instead of waiting at the stove for her spouse?"

"I'm not sure. There's a lot of airbrush action going on...and that means they're trying to cover up surface flaws on the body."

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

"The sign does not specifically say, 'these' hot dogs."

'What the heck did I do wrong?'

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'

'It's about time!'

'...why people are obsessed with sex is beyond me...'

'It's great that we are protected now, but do we really need to wear the sponsors' logos?'

"We were thinking, J.W., just off the top of our heads, of course—why not make the stuff addictive?"

I heard you were giving out free red-white-and-blue cookies for Election Day. That was last week. I know. But you didn't specify it was for the presidential election. They're voting today for hall monitor at Octavia Butler Elementary School in Pasadena. Technically, that means it's "Election Day." Cookie me now, cookie boy, or I sue for false advertising. Get out.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

If nobody had invented graphics

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'We've re-branded.'

Direct Marketing...

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"That's our new church mascot."

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Gerald Ratner's return

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."