Agency Manager Gifts

'Here's a possibility -- How would you like to be the President of Argentina?'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"Good boy."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

Elections

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

2020 Republican Party National Convention

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

America's funniest election gaffes

Meet Santa's entourage