Advertising Agency Staff Gifts

'I like to think our false and deceptive advertising is falser and more deceptive than anyone else's false and deceptive advertising.'

'You are neither tattooed, nor pierced, or have facial hair - how creative can you be?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I've never read such stupid twaddle in all my life, I like it'

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Important Food Groups

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I go that extra mile!"

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'