Ad Agency Employee Gifts

At the advertising copy department.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Crap from the future.

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."