Agency Employee Gifts

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"The Nominees"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"Can you perform under pressure?"

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

Overly wordy travel.

Black Hole Corks

Spy vs. Spy

The Copywriter's Dilemma

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'I've never read such stupid twaddle in all my life, I like it'

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

Federal witness protection agency.

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

We don't suspect you of helping Russia blackmail the president. It's your college roommate, Rudy Park. He's the mole. Ithee. Thn hwcm imn hur? You and I go way back, Lemont. Of all the journalists I've monitored, you're by far my favorite. Mmble. Huh? I said "Untie me and let me go, you fascist, jack-booted thug!" Anyway, you've heard of "Deep Throat," right? Well ... first thing we need to do is come up with a good code name for me.