Employment Agency Worker Gifts

"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"Yes, we can get you summer work, Mr. Claus...even at 1,700 years old we don't age discriminate."

'Short-staffed?'

'I know the ad said 'temporary,' but when did you say you had your last contraction?'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'No kangaroo jockeys required!'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

'Do you have any job references that aren't imaginary?'

'Our computer thinks you should move to Sweden and try to get on public assistance.'

"I thought the employment agency said it was a job in a sweet shop."

'I can do that job for even less.'

"A.B.H., G.B.H., assault and battery. WEll, you appear to have all the required credentials for the position."

Magic brooms empty buckets of resumes into an overflowing Job Centre

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

Time-Travelers Employment Agency. Well, of course, I have gaps in my work history.

'I found the perfect job for you but it sounded so good that I took it myself.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'While my reserve unit was guarding the Iraqi border, an illegal alien took my job.'

"My most recent position was under a house."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"The Nominees"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

Jobs for graduates

The Copywriter's Dilemma

Black Hole Corks