Employment Agency Professionals Gifts

Jesus returns: Acmy Employment Agency: 'I do have experience as a carpenter, but that was 2000 yeras ago.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

CATCHY NAME

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

Jobs for graduates

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

"Great news! - We've found you a job at a circus..."

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."