Staffing Agency Professional Gifts

When staffing agencies screw up.

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

Getting through the week.

Ace headhunters.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

I'm going through your application as we speak.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

CATCHY NAME

'Are these billable hours?'

I think you should go after my job!

I'm willing to start at the bottom and work my way up to your job..

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

With the company's CEO headed his way, Don frantically tries to remove any bits of food from his teeth.

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"We'd like you to join our valued team of department heads."

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"Why have you called the new post 'assistant deputy administrative project support?" "Because it sounded better than 'skivvy'."

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

Minion of the month