Staffing Gifts

Getting through the week.

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

If promotion prospects are so good, why are you still stuck in this crummy job?

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

Captain Pointy No.44 - Thank heavens for Temps

'Of course it's not your fault, Smedley, but someone has to accept the responsibility.'

'It's a terrific family business: We have about 53 staff-members...'

"We'd like you to join our valued team of department heads."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

What an attitude... Yes, but he does the job brilliantly.

'Bixby, you're diligent, punctual, hard-working, and dependable — What's your angle, anyway?'

'We're looking for a cashier...'

'Retirement, Higgins? -- But at forty hours per week, you've only worked here thirteen years.'

'Are these billable hours?'

I think you should go after my job!

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

'Those references are from my computer. I have an online degree.'

'You've come to be like a son to me, Henderson -- insubordinate, lazy, surly, rude....'

'It's true that money can't buy everything, Caldwell, but it's not healthy to dwell on it.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'So one of your hobbies is lying, how do I know you're not telling the truth?'

Minion of the month

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Find some people who can be the people who will be my people that get in touch with their people.'

"Who are you hiring? The one whose CV has spelling errors, food stains or printed using a dot-matrix printer?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'