Staffing Agents Gifts

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Getting through the week.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Sid Sinatra.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

Meet Santa's entourage

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."