Staffing Consultant Gifts

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"What do you mean it's not 'Thong Thursday?'"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Getting through the week.

Ace headhunters.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"HR think we need to look again at your recruitment strategy."

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

I'm going through your application as we speak.

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

Women's day - 'work'

'Are these billable hours?'