Staffing Specialist Gifts

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

Ace headhunters.

'I was rolling around in your résumé and I like what I smell.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"Who are you hiring? The one whose CV has spelling errors, food stains or printed using a dot-matrix printer?"

'What we're looking for is a workaholic who would be willing to work for the minimum wage.'

I'm going through your application as we speak.

'You're sure the job description wasn't Scarlet Tanager?' 'Product Manager.'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'