Staffing Coordinator Gifts

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'If You give them free will, we'll need a LOT more staff.'

Human resources department is a stock full of humans.

'I've got to change temp agencies.'

'As a department manager, it's my job to find out my staff members' talents and to appoint them to the place they're best at.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Multi-tasking.

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Busy office.

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."