Workplace Coordinator Gifts

"Ms. Melton here is in charge of our company's greenspace."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'You are a self-starter... problem is, you never finish anything.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"How have you managed to keep your job?"

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

'If he has a pulse, hire him!'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"There are so many intrigues and power plays in this office that I'm thinking of requesting political asylum."

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

We can do ANYTHING if we all work TOGETHER.

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

"We added it just for the millenials."

Office Politics Superstore.