Workplace Counselor Gifts

"We added it just for the millenials."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Staff support"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Licensed Therapist

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

America, are we learning anything?

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"