Job Counselor Gifts

"Henry, I'm beginning to think we're on different career paths."

Age discrimination in job recruitment.

'Your ad said you were looking for a people person.'

'I'm looking for a temp job to fill the gap between my indictment and incarceration.'

Some new Greek gods - God of Debt, Austerity, Unemployment.

'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'

'See you next week, if I'm still in the job.'

"The only job open is that of 'human cannonball'...lousy pay, but frequent flyer miles."

Volunteers and Unemployment.

'The hiked the minimum wage again -- now I'm out of an even better job!'

'Son, as I can see it, your career prospects as a pirate seem to be... hm...limited!'

'I thought this was for the Inauguration but I just found out it's the unemployment line.'

Obama Jobs Plan

Ghost of unemployment

'Since taking the job at the China Shop, I've been very stressed: I have to watch myself all the time...'

Economics: Job Crisis

'Yes, I know I'm a sheepdog, but I'm after a career change...'

America! I'm here today to talk about...Jobs! Jobs!...Choke!

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

"I'm having trouble contacting your references. They're all in solitary confinement."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"We are an equal opportunity employer. . . All our jobs are equally crap."

"I remember we used to talk in the staff room about Unions and what the point of membership was."

"Yes, you are all highly qualified, but circus skills are not easily transferable to the corporate world..."

"If any of you guys out there have lost your jobs, need some help and are struggling to cope, call me. I can't do anything, but it makes me feel better about my own shitty life."

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."

'I'd like something that would sound impressive to woman.'

No Credit

Recovery is on the way

Disgruntled former employees

'Tell me, what career interests you?'

"Well it sounds like racial profiling to me, Buddy, but if you must know...I'm black, white and Asian."

'Sorry Mr Bed-Bug, but I don't have any seedy hotel jobs available right now...'

Career advice bureau