Employment Agency Professional Gifts

'I'm very good at what I do...as long as what I do is being overpaid.'

'We found an accountant for you last week to look after your petty cash. Now you're looking for both of them.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

CATCHY NAME

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

Jobs for graduates

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"I've got to be honest. It's going to be hard to find you a position that offers 40 days of personal time."

'How do you like your egg?'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Well bang goes your second career as a claimant.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

"Great news! - We've found you a job at a circus..."

Three cheers for advertising.

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."