Employment Agency Specialist Gifts

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

"Tell us something we don't know."

Jobs for graduates

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

CIA, NOW HIRING, 'My resume? - I memorized it and burned it.'

'You used to be a living legend. Now you're a living has been.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

"Any talents besides tasting good?"