Employment Agency Specialist Prints

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'...I know just the man, I'll send him right over.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

Recruitment Agency - Tips for getting that dream job.

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

Jobs for graduates

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

CIA, NOW HIRING, 'My resume? - I memorized it and burned it.'

'I need to hire more people. I can't keep making all of these mistakes.'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

"Tell us something we don't know."

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

'You used to be a living legend. Now you're a living has been.'