Temp Agency Workers Gifts

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Overly wordy travel.

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

"My most recent position was under a house."

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."

"I see this place is very popular with tourist industry workers."

'We'd love to pay staff more, but there's just no money! But you've got dozens of empty posts, why can't you use the money saved to pay better rates?'

"I'm the temp."