Temp Agency Workers Gifts

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"Can you perform under pressure?"

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Overly wordy travel.

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

"I'm the temp."

"I see this place is very popular with tourist industry workers."

"My most recent position was under a house."

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'