Temp Agency Employee Gifts

Temp Agency Personnel. Where do you see yourself in five weeks?

'Since I'm a temp, I'd make excellent scapegoat material.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"Can you perform under pressure?"

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Overly wordy travel.

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"