Temp Agency Employee Gifts

'Since I'm a temp, I'd make excellent scapegoat material.'

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

When staffing agencies screw up.

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Overly wordy travel.

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

"Of course the extra costs of the 'minimum wage' has had an impact upon our recruitment policies...we have to be a lot more selective!"

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

'Employment agency: We have lots of jobs for robots, apps, drones.'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

"I like your resume, Andy. It shows you're smart, a good worker and full of potassium!"

"Actually I'm a waiter but things are pretty slow at the moment and I'm looking for something to fill in between jobs."

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'