Temporary Job Gifts

Foster failure

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'We'd love to pay staff more, but there's just no money! But you've got dozens of empty posts, why can't you use the money saved to pay better rates?'

"You don't have any cooking experience? We should be able to get you a job at a hospital cafeteria."

In the off season I do temp work.

"I'm the temp."

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'

'Yes, I'm a temp. Why do you ask?'

'No cubicles. All our temps are free-range.'

'Henderson! Find some DNA that matches mine and be quick about it!'

'Here's a possibility -- How would you like to be the President of Argentina?'

'I know the ad said 'temporary,' but when did you say you had your last contraction?'

"Good news, Turner, We've chewed you up but have decided not to spit you out."

Office Temporaries Inc

'File this, fax that, take a letter, answer the phone. I'm afraid of being typecast.'