Temporary Staff Gifts

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'Henderson! Find some DNA that matches mine and be quick about it!'

Whirlwind temp.

Time & temp.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Foster failure

'These are job perks.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

Sales.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."