Temporary Work Gifts

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

'Since I'm a temp, I'd make excellent scapegoat material.'

It's not forever......

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Foster failure

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

Contractor Ants

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

"A serf? We don't call you 'serfs' anymore. Nowadas we call you flexibly employed staff members!"

"Poor Chap,he's only been here a few days but the pressure of the job seems to have got to him already."

"I don't get it. As the Easter Bunny you're really busy for one day of the year. What do you do with the rest of your time?"

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

"I'm the temp."

'I can only offer you a temporary position. You can start on Monday... If we are still open.'

In the off season I do temp work.

'We'd love to pay staff more, but there's just no money! But you've got dozens of empty posts, why can't you use the money saved to pay better rates?'

"You don't have any cooking experience? We should be able to get you a job at a hospital cafeteria."

'Yes, I'm a temp. Why do you ask?'

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

'Here's a possibility -- How would you like to be the President of Argentina?'

'No cubicles. All our temps are free-range.'

'Henderson! Find some DNA that matches mine and be quick about it!'