Temporary Job Enthusiast Gifts

"You're from the temp agency? Okay, basically, we have a short-term opening in our human sacrifice department."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Resume Dumpers

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

'I received matching offers.'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

'We're looking for a 'temp' employee to serve time in Leavenworth.'

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Very well, Mr Potter. I blinked first. You're hired.

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

"Sorry, Thompson. No temps on the corporate huddle."

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just holler."