Ad Agency Professionals Gifts

Innocent Joe Public about to be shot with 'direct response marketing' arrow by ad agency

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Important Food Groups

'We've re-branded.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Direct Marketing...

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"I go that extra mile!"

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."