Advertisement Professional Gifts

Mouse real estate!

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'We've re-branded.'

Direct Marketing...

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I go that extra mile!"

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'My ultimate goal is to do product promo in a popular Super Bowl T.V ad.'

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."