Advertising Agency Staff Prints

'I like to think our false and deceptive advertising is falser and more deceptive than anyone else's false and deceptive advertising.'

'You are neither tattooed, nor pierced, or have facial hair - how creative can you be?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I've never read such stupid twaddle in all my life, I like it'

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Important Food Groups

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"I go that extra mile!"

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."