Agency Heads Gifts

'Having demonstrated his total lack of leadership skills, Netherby is leaving to head up a federal agency.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Trial by Media

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"The Nominees"

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

Director: US Space Research.

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

'You're popular? Your workers are (GASP!) satisfied?? I'm afraid you're not the right person for the Head of Department job!'

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Spy vs. Spy

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Please send us an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department.'

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'