Department Heads Gifts

'You're popular? Your workers are (GASP!) satisfied?? I'm afraid you're not the right person for the Head of Department job!'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"You have a grossly exagerrated view of your own importance. You'll make an excellent department head."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Personnel. Are you familiar with "flex time"? Just the usual kind -- slow workdays and fast weekends.

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

'Please send us an optimist to run the sales department, and a pessimist to run the credit department.'

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

'Head of Ideas' In and Out trays

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."

"The company's information flow is really simple: the boss doesn't tell the department managers anything, they don't talk to the team managers, who withhold everything from the workers."

"We need a miracle. Who runs that department?"

Dramatic lighting in the drama department.

'I need you department heads to put out a memo to the employees that they will be working from home...then, start packing...we're moving to Cleveland.'

'Don't ask for mercy, as a refusal often offends!'

Purvison heads our environmentally-conscious growth fund