Legal Department Head Gifts

The head of the legal department gets married

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Jester Surgeon

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"