Legal Department Staff Gifts

'Our legal department thinks its job is to prevent trouble before it starts. They accomplish that by preventing everything before it starts.'

'I need somebody to run this by legal. Anyone in the office wearing sneakers?'

'Have you not noticed that our legal department is crawling with lawyers!'

"Never forget...if you bend a law enough, it becomes a loophole!"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

In and Out Tray

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'