Law Firm Employees Gifts

Corporate Lawyers

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Overworked in the office

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Parade of Businessmen

Meat Grinder

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'He's an expendable.'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

"No, Mr. Kurlander, I don't have, nor have I ever had, a recipe for cranberry muffins."

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Perks

Deadlines, Inc.

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

"No, mom. . . it was last winter when I was skating on thin ice. This spring I'm just walking a fine line."

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

Stress

'I say we dispense with the reading of minutes so we can get right to name-calling.'

Monday morning is nigh.

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."