Law Firm Associate Gifts

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

I represent the law firm of Andrews, Lloyd, Kincade, Jackson, Rodriguez, McSwain, Clark & Young. You're outnumbered!

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

A baby in court

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

Legalish

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

Lawn Lawyer

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Justice 4 Ron

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."