Legal Department Employee Gifts

Research, lawyers, development.

"Ok, now run this up legal's ass and see that we don't get sued!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Bailiff."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Jester Surgeon

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."