Legal Worker Gifts

'What is the purpose of your visit?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Changing Minds

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Wal-Mart Ruling

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Bailiff."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"